Oxford Blues

Hillary pickin' up a lil steam

2007-08-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm here to tell you that I was never a big Bill Clinton fan, though he did some great things. I always liked Hillary a little less.

But, I gotta say. Smooth, girl. SMOOTH.

She got herself some GREAT sound bites and got to kick ol Dubya square in the jimmy.

Nicely done.

Jose Gonzalez

2007-08-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Yawfren, I am currently obsessed with Jose Gonzalez. She sent me a piece of eye-candy advet-art that features one of his songs, so I looked him up.

I have not stopped listening to the four songs on his MySpace profile since.

The guy is amazing.

The head is far ahead of the heart

2007-08-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

If I sent you a story I wrote with you and I as characters, long-lost loves together for one last infinitely sad moment,

Would you understand that I’m not the love-lorn fool I sometimes seem to be?

If you knew that I still thought of us together at night when I’m alone,

Would you find me a creepy pervert, or just a guy who enjoyed being with you and remembers those good times?

If I told you that I still miss you a moment or two a day,

Would you see that I’m not trying to hold onto something that isn’t real anymore?

If I showed you that even though it was only a short time, you’d changed me in profound ways,

Would you know that I understand our reality and that we’re just friends for the best?

You can’t control how people see you

All you can do is be who you are

And hope that everyone sees the truth in your thoughts and deeds

Do you see my truth?

The inner child, the inner adult and your true nature

2007-08-01T12:57:00.000-07:00

What follows is a wickedly raw rant. Sadly, it's not as raw as it was in the three phone conversations tonight that produced it, but it's as raw as I could get it down.

Please understand that this is a LOT of personal disclosure and a LOT of me talking out what I've discovered to be true for me and I know in my heart to be true for all of you, but it won't make sense to some because of the way I present it. It's just the way it came to make sense for me.

There are pieces missing because I am human and I can't get it all down via keyboard. I may add to it or re-arrange things over time...but, here it is, unvarnished and LONG, but give it a try and see if it doesn't have something useful for you in it. If not, no problem. I got a lot out of writing it.

This may be stuff everyone knows. But, it's news to me. Forgive my self-indulgence. It IS my blog after all. Additionally, this is by far the longest post I have EVER written and I hope I will EVER write. It is all over the place. So be prepared.

I'm also not saying I've pulled all this stuff off. I have recognized it and I am working on it...but...I'm still human. Don't worry, I'll still eff up and you'll get to hear or read about it.

Put on your big girl panties...

...cause it's about to get real in here, and I mean REAL.

So, a LOT has happened to, around and within me since my breakup six plus months ago. There has been a great deal of change, personal and not a great deal of personal struggle, a great deal of personal excess, a great deal of growth.

There have been so many catalysts in the form of:

Material objects: My beloved motorcycle, Wyonona, who I NEVER plan to sell, even if she's a pile of bolts because she's been a part of this, my apartment, my jobs (I count them as material, the people involved in them are separate entities)

Experiences: (again, related to the other categories) traveling (mainly thanks to 'Nona), and watching the tribulations of other people close to me, observing my own behavior, personal introspection and all other forms of experience

People: I've had new relationships, continued and developed old ones, watched old ones die, watched new ones wither and even dissected old ones long dead

So, what have these catalysts done? Well...honestly...that will continue to be a question. But, I've had some big jumps, some explosive moments.

One came when I reactivated my alter and tried to reconnect spiritually. I found that although I am more skeptical than ever, my spiritual self is still healthy and actually stronger than it's ever been. I am more prepared to deal with the universe and my place in it than ever before. I've grown as a person and my spiritual self, although mostly dormant the last few years, has miraculously not only survived, but now that it's being fed is actually thriving.

Another came in several pieces while traveling with 'Nona. I began to recapture the childish sense of wonder that I'd missed for so long. It initially just felt like "YES! I LOVE my motorcycle. This is so amazing." But, as I've processed, I'm realizing that my eyes are open to all the things that make this an incredibly beautiful world we live in and just how happy I am to be in it, where I had been seeing it SO darkly for SO long. See how that also fits into the above. It's gonna be a recurring theme, watch for it.

Another came upon my trip to Ohio's first regional Burning Man festival, Scorched Nuts (THANK YOU, Andi. You are one of my angels). Suddenly the darkness lifted from Ohio and I realized that even though this place SUCKS, and yes, it does suck (audibly, just listen, you'll hear it), there are those around who share my beliefs, my desires, my sensibilities. They are rare and harder to find than in other places I've lived. But, they ARE here.

Another came on my trip to Austin, which was bitter sweet for me. It was good to see my family and friends, but seeing the multi-cultural and cosmopolitan nature of Austin broke my heart because I knew I was coming back to Oxford, the homogeneous bubble from hell. However, soon after I arrived back here, I began to realize that I was actually now more determined to make the best of my stay here, at work, socially and most importantly in grad school (thanks, Morley for talking that out with me).

The final catalyst (for now, only, I hope), the one that smooshed all these together, came in the form of a bit of a childish emotional tantrum. What it regarded is too personal and in the end completely irrelevant. The way I came to this did have to do with thinking about relationships, so forgive me as I go along for meandering into talking about them. The end conclusion actually has very little to do with that meltdown and NOTHING to do with the people involved, their actions, or my relationships with them. Cryptic, I know, but give me a few more minutes to rant.

Over the months, I've been becoming happier and happier with where I am in life and more confident and convinced that I'm doing the right thing. The realization I have come to is that there isn't a damn thing wrong with me.

Say what? Yeah, I know you're listing my flaws out in your head. Get back, thee, non-believer and listen to the WORD.

I have my issues. I have ADD. I struggle with cultivating internal motivation. There are plenty of others.

But, the thing is. I'm working on them. I'm aware of them. I learn more about them every day and I AM dealing with them. Moreover, for the first time I am seeing appreciable differences in how I deal with my issues on a daily basis, not weekly or monthly, DAILY.

That, my friends, is the difference.

Even though it took me a long time to get here, I did it all on my own time and I learned a LOT from those experiences and that time.

I have, finally, after many years, began to actually truly look inside myself and accept the ugly truth that I have issues. Sure, you say, I know I have flaws. But, do you really KNOW it? Have you really accepted it? If so, rock on. Most of this won't apply to you, but humor me and read on.

I realized (thank you, Daniel) that everyone has issues and for every single one that they point out in you, you can point one out in them. Period. Some people appear "more effed up" than others because there strengths may be obscured by the issues floating on top or more evident than others', but I assure you, it all comes out essentially equal. The only difference is people's relative willingness to accept and work on their issues.

What's the difference you say? Isn't that six of one, half dozen of the other?

Not really. Thanks to someone whose influence I can't even believe at this point, I've realized that absolute honesty in relationships is much more of an absolute and necessity than I ever thought (what? how is this related...again...some latitude, please). That honesty cannot be relative. There are tiny, tiny exceptions for things that would simply hurt the person involved and not serve any other purpose, but if you're doing it right, those should be extremely rare. I'm talking if there is one a year or more, you're probably not being honest enough.

So, why is it important? Three paragraphs of preface and I'll get to it.

People talk about their inner child. They talk about embracing it. I don't buy that concept. I know what they're talking about, but we'll get to that shortly. The inner child I am familiar with is a spoiled brat who wants nothing but what it wants when it wants it. It's the emotional part of you. It's your hind brain. It's your base instincts. This is the part of you that needs to be "controlled." Notice the quotes. I'll explain that later, too.

Then there's your adult self, that part of you needs to be nourished and built and strengthened. This is the part of you that needs to be satisfied with how your life is going on a more material level.

Then there's the part of you that I'll call your true nature. The "inner child" concept that people try to put their finger on, but often get the child within you confused with. You have to watch for that. Your true nature is the part of you that you need to satisfy spiritually. The part of you that whispers in your ear about finding a career that's more satisfying.

So, you're all over the place, man...what are you saying?

These natures compete within you all the time, especially the adult and the child. The child is the part of you that gets hurt and sad and throws a tantrum when a loved one doesn't give you the attention it wants.

So, what do we do? We tell it to shut up and we send it away. Just like with real children, all that does is buy you time before the bad behavior starts. Holding that back only means it will seep through your fingers and make you do NASTY things to the ones you love.

Don't believe me? REALLY think about it. Think about past relationships that failed and tell me that resentment, which is what happens when that child isn't satisfied, wasn't the poison that killed that relationship. I'll give you a dollar if you can prove to me that it wasn't. It was. I promise.

So, what to do then? No one can give you everything you need. Well, it is an excellent case against monogamy. I'll give you that.

But, what if you were honest. I mean really, painfully, uncomfortably honest with everyone you had a relationship with? Not your boss and co-workers...I'm not about to go there, that's a whole other rant, but everyone in your personal life.

If every time that child had a tantrum you recognized it as such and explained it to the other person as calmly as you could what would happen? (It's hard because when the child is in control, you're not rational. Period.)

I can tell you this much...if you're both honest with each other...resentment would shrink considerably or even disappear.

So, that leaves the adult more able to grow and thrive. Which is good. That's what leads to self-sufficiency and self-reliance. But, you don't want to just succeed on material levels...this is where your true nature comes in.

If you have that child in check and recognize its tantrums...if you come to realize that you're okay no matter WHAT happens in your personal life, that you are a complete human being regardless, you can allow your true nature to come out and influence your life. You can get out of your ruts, you can be more "yourself."

If you don't believe me, try this. Try to identify when that child is speaking. Try to identify the adult voice. Then listen quietly and see if your true nature doesn't talk to you. It may be REALLY, quiet at first, but again, I promise...it's there.

So isn't this just the same "I'm okay, you're okay" stuff that people have been spewing for years? It's similar, it's related, sure.

But, this is how I found it in my life and in myself.

Take it for what it's worth. It may not be much, but it's my process, and I'm doing it as best I can.

Poetry again...soul dump...

2007-07-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

wake this day from your tempered slumber
and attend to my desires
not because you feel you should
but because you want to

home is the word of the moment
the word of our meditation
what it means in any given moment changes
like the summer breezes that blow

the winds inside us stir strongly and less consistently
gently tormenting our souls within
showing only as contemplation or melancholy to others
but we can understand each other’s inner life if we share

go back to the place we grew together for a short time
I am there
I am waiting
I don't need anything
but I do want you

Waxing poetic

2007-07-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

It's raw and it didn't flow out of me, probably because I haven't written poetry in far too long, so it reads like a slam piece, uneven, bumpy and stretched in places. I trust you to figure it out.

And the morning came
and he was tired just the same.
He looked around the world
with the same blurry, bleary, world-weary eyes.

Soothing same sounds soothe but not the same.

And the sky was gray
and it threatened as he walked.
It cooled throughout his soul
with the same dampness seen on the ground.

Standing still softens the soul, but moreso the sole.

It was Friday the thirteenth
and he'd decided it'd be lucky.
It provided a dull warmth as he sat
with the same blank smile he often had.

So say something sweet, but sincere.

The heart he'd found was hot and soft
and she was strong enough to work past the scars.
She filled his thoughts intentional or not
with the past, present tense and future perfect.

Striations show juxtaposing sunny and shady.

It was a time to move out of heavy darkness
and into the light of the world.
They were as unsure as ever were two
with still the confidence of one and one to make one again.

Worst Super Power Evar

2007-06-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry kids, I know my scorched nuts report is way overdue. If it's any consolation, it's going to be long and have lots of pictures for you non-read heavy folx.

For today, however, my office mate Kate and I have a question for you. I'll even give you my answer, which sparked this whole thing, to get you started.

What would be the worst super power to have, like, ever? For the sake of this discussion, assume it can't be turned off, whatever it is.

Mine would be understanding all the subtexts in everything everyone says.

So, say your girlfriend says "I'm tired tonight." You don't get "I'm tired tonight." You get "I'm so sick of having sex with you, I could throw up. Maybe if you cleaned the apartment, say, once a month, bathed and shaved yourself on a semi-regular basis and NEVER passed gas in my presence, you'd have a shot, MAYBE."

What would you imagine the worst super power ever would be?

Homesick

2007-06-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, if today and this weekend prove to be anything like this morning...it's going to be quite a ride.

My excitement about Ohio's first Regional Burn has been building to a fever pitch. But, after getting to work on time for the first time in some time...I read the news back in Austin via the Statesman and the Chronicle while eating my pop tarts...and my excitement turned to melancholy.

I've missed Austin for some time. I hated it by the time I left. Mainly out of frustration with the job market. I made some mistakes in that area and it cost me a LOT. More than it probably would have somewhere less competitive. Mainly mad at myself...but you know how that goes.

But, after coming back to the mid west, something I SWORE I wouldn't do and didn't want to, I really, really missed the trappings of urban life and I really missed the hippie-dippie-slacker vibe of Austin.

But, today, for the first time, I am truly, truly homesick.

Ironically, I think it's going to the burn that's the cause.

I mean, in Austin there were opportunities and spots to hang out with all kinds of people all the time. Flipside, Texas's regional burn attracts a couple thousand people...Ohio's first is slated to maybe crack 200.

I mean, it's really simple to say I don't fit in here. Any jackass can see that. "Get out there and find something." Yeah, you come try. I've been trying for two years. I've been called "Fag!" for wearing cowboy boots, jeans and a nice button up (not kidding), had girls say "Why are you buying a motorcycle? No one rides a motorcycle here," and "Aren't you kind of old to be working at beedubs?" These are merly the first three that popped into my head and don't mention the countless racist and ignorant things I've heard people say.

I mean, none of that stuff would raise an eyebrow in Austin and even if you found the one douche that it would bother, you'd have any number of nice, comfy holes to climb into with a group of like minded folk to tell you what a douche they were.

I've made it two years with almost no respit and certainly no shelter from the pervasive homogeneous, lame, narrow-minded, white, rich culture here. The maintenance of that homogeny is so brutal that I've actually given in and let go of some of the more flamboyant, expressive clothes I own and toned down my outward appearance. Getting gawked at gets old. Fast.

I read about Emo's fifteenth anniversary and Lovejoys and Casino El Camino and Manu Chao playing at Stubb's (that one hurt...BAD). If there were shows like that, bars like that, even a fraction as many, I could make it. But the hour trip to Cinci or Dayton is just brutal on my schedule and means. It was so easy in Austin. Having fun or blowing off steam was SO EASY. It is HARD here.

It's an ironic time for this little melancholic bit of brooding and self-reflection, too. I've been feeling more "me" lately than I have in some time. Getting out and traveling, having new experiences, etc has really brought my mojo back. But, that may be part of what's stirred the pot and helped once again show quite a contrast between ME and HERE.

I guess I head into the weekend not as hopeful as before. I had hoped to have a ton of neo-hippie friends by the end of the weekend to salve my soul as all of my varied friends and acquaintances did back home. But, now, I just want to go and have fun and see what's up. I'm more curious than hopeful.

This might be a defense mechanism kicking in, my way of avoiding potentially brutal disappointment. But, we shall see.

For what it's worth, to all my friends and family (not much of a difference there to me) back home. I miss you dearly and appreciate you more than ever. I know I strain you sometimes with my phone calls and e-mails bitching about this place. I know you probably groaned out loud when I got accepted to grad school and signed on for three more years.

I just want you all to know that I love you, I'm going to visit as much as I can and I'll be home as soon as I can be. I just have to make something of this exile in hell before I come home. It's a moral imperative. I hope you understand.

Goddess help me...

2007-06-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

After two weekends getting progressively better...

(yes, I owe you a report on the 2007 Chain Gang Hoot in the Holler...it's coming. Sorry)

Scorched Nuts starts TODAY...I can't focus on my work or anything else. I'm literally counting down the seconds until I head out tomorrow noon for the burn. I'm a MESS!!!

If I could find focus in a bottle, I'd swig it right now...the whole thing. Sheesh.

Cigarettes aren't helping, caffeine either.

Maybe a nice fat bag of crack...as the charlatan scumbag soul-sucker Denis Leary said "I'd never smoke crack. I'd never do a drug named after a part of my own ass."

Hope you're all working away happily with focus, vim and vigor. I'm over here struggling to no end, but this weekend's gonna be A-MA-ZING.

Much love.

Okay, WTF is going on over at Honda?

2007-06-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

I kept my mouth shut when they released the ridiculously priced Accord Hybrid that didn't even get gas mileage that was all that impressive.

I kept my mouth shut when the released a monster truck that got $#!tty gas mileage.

NOW they're canceling the accord hybrid they introduced just three years ago.

They've made great cars for years. Good gas mileage. Reliable. It was a simple equation. What is the PROBLEM?

EDIT:Thank you Raf, for reminding me. Is ANYONE, I mean ANYONE going to make a hybrid compact pick up? Do you KNOW how many of those would sell in the US alone?

I want to impregnate Sarah Silverman

2007-06-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

See my post below on why she's probably the worst mate for me ever. But, Bryan just sent me a link to her MTV Movie Awards monologue.

She has bigger balls than four of me, and I'm not dangling grapes.

NOT even CLOSE to worksafe. No outright curse words, but several bleeped ones and RAW content...which is why it's awesome and she's so hot she could melt stone.

Link.

EDIT(because I can't help myself):AND she's Jewish...bestill my beating heart. If she had tattoos and dreadlocks I'd have her name branded on my ass.

750 miles

2007-06-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

So, a couple of weeks ago I suddenly got the urge to Google the stars of my favorite sci fi show Farscape and see what they were up to. Cyberstalking these celebs had an interesting result. I found out that the very cute and fun Gigi Edgley and the also cool Wayne Pygram would be in Knoxville, TN for a sci fi/comic book/collector convention in two weeks.

I thought "Hmm...that's about five or six hours by car on 75. I bet it's totally doable by bike. I've never been to a sci fi con....kind of curious and I'd love to meet Gigi...lot's of pretty country in KY and TN"...and off to the races I went, booked a cheap campsite, bought tickets for the convention, got all my gear ready and planned my route. How easy it would be, I could take US 27 the whole way there. It was 100 miles longer than the route via 75, but it was two lane highway most of the way instead of superslab.

Friday I got off work and went to meet some ex-coworkers for lunch in Cinci @ 12:30. I was on the road from Cinci about 2. Realizing I was running L-A-T-E, I couldn't stop for pictures. But, I plan to make this ride again only slightly different (more on that later) as it is gorgeous.

The farm country of northern Kentucky was beautiful to start. Rolling hills and plains with lots of old farmhouses, cattle and a few houses. Then, quite suddenly, a few miles from Lexington, 27 becomes 27/68 through Bourbon County, KY. Holy smokes. This is the home of the sprawling horse estates where so many famous Derby winners come from. I must have passed a half a billion dollars in rolling, gorgeous estates on this fifteen miles.

Mortarless stone walls, like the ones that line the farms of Ireland ran the length of the road on both sides and sometimes down the middle of the median. Beautiful thoroughbred horses ran and played. HUGE homes lined hilltops or sat partially hidden behind giant iron gates. Absolutely breathtaking.

Then, I came to Lexington. I got lost in Lexington going both ways. 27 just disappears. I was even ready for it on the way back. Still got hopelessly lost.

Once through It was on through southern KY and into northern TN. Almost immediately I came to Daniel Boone National Forest. Beautiful trees lined the road on both sides and the road rose and fell slowly with a few nice, long, slow curves.

By this time I was rather in a ton of leg and arse pain. I only made fuel stops and one stretching stop. The sun was going down and I was still 30 minutes plus from the campsite when I turned onto 63 to head to 75 and drive the ten miles to my campsite. 63 was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and fun to drive (lots of curves and hills) AND the sun had been down just a few minutes, so there was filtered light to illuminate the mist and clouds running through the valleys. Absolutely amazing. Here are some 63 Pix from the return trip.TN hills still life w/Wynona.

Sneaky self portrait. Yes, as a matter of fact I DID Haul @$$ around that corner with a big ol' smile on my face right after this picture was taken. Woot!

I reached 75 just in time for it to be completely dark and start raining. So, I got to do my first riding in the rain...in the dark. On top of that I discovered that I didn't have my load far enough forward, as everytime I got above about 55 or 60, Wynona developed a nice butt wiggle. Excellent. On go the four-way emergency flashers, thank you "BMW Motorrad premium package" and we slow to 50. I put my chin on the tank bag to make us all aerodynamic and avoid the rain and rode it out until two miles before my exit...where it stopped.

I hauled ass into the campground, paid my fee, rode to the spot and even though I was tired and my legs and arese were killing me, I quickly unpacked, pitched the tent, threw on the rain hood and got my gear inside. I ran to take a shower thinking rain would be on top of me at any second. After seven hours on the bike with little rest, it was the best shower I've had in memory...by FAR. When I came out, no rain. I lay down and read some of Jupiter's Travels and fell asleep. I woke up. No rain.

I ate a healthy breakfast of blueberry mini muffins, peanut butter crackers and Diet Dew. Then, snapped a pic of my temporary homestead before heading down for the convention.

This is Volunteer Family Campground in Knoxville. It's mainly for RVs. The staff were super nice, the food on Saturday night was amazing (German all you can eat feast), the bathroom and shower facilities were spotless, the showers were hot, the tent site was heavily shaded...but...the ground was as hard as stone. My only complaint. They even had ice cream.

I arrived at the convention center just in time for one of four, yes, FOUR weddings taking place that day at the convention.

What the hell are you looking at?

Troopers lining up for the first wedding.

Along with lots of troopers...

Trooper1: Man, it itches real bad right here.
Trooper2: Dude, get that looked at

...there were a few random folx who seemed a little out of place, but added a little color to the scene, these girls among them.

And then there was, in my opinion, the belle of the ball, Gigi Edgley, Farscape's Chiana. Cute, sweet, fun and Australian!
We had a good chat and off I went back to the campsite for German food and beer and badly needed rest. The ride Friday took more out of me than I thought.

I awoke at 2:30 am to rain. I ran out, quickly lowered the rain hood fully and jumped back into the tent. I was pretty wet and as I got in it started POURING rain. Man, I hope Wynona's still on her feet in the morning. When I finally dragged myself into consciousness at 8:30, it appeared all was well, but damp. I then had to break the cardinal rule of camping: Thou shalt not store thy gear wet or even damp. No choice, got to hit the road.

View from the tent at 8:30 am. "Morning 'Nona. Any chance YOU'LL pack the gear? No. Damn."

I saw this place on the way in and knew I had to stop here for lunch on the way home. I have a fetish for mom and pop burger joints.

I wanna say this place is just outside of Waynesville, KY. But, don't quote me on that.

All this for less than $4.50. Hot damn! (can you find the subliminal message?)

Well, I was doing so good taking pictures and the weather had been perfect. I approachd the 27/68 turn off, ready to shoot copious pictures of Bourbon County, KY, when things took a turn for the unpleasant. A giant beast of a storm began to form to the North. As I was running East at the time, I thought: "I can out run it, I can get around it." Down the hammer went and along a nearly deserted, but stunning stretch of road I went. As I got out in front of the storm I thought "YES! I did it." Only to have my hopes and dreams come crashing down when 27 separated and turned north, directly into the storm. I laughed at my stupidity for the first 1/2 mile. Then it wasn't funny anymore.

Pea sized hail and heavy wind gusts had me slowed to 45 before I took shelter under a tree for a while. My crotch got soaked. Lesson learned. Close the hip pockets on your suit when you seal it up for rain. The wetting down the suit trick to stay cool works brilliantly with my Oly. Gotta remember that for my trip to Tejas. I froze my butt off for the next half-hour.

I learned a lot this trip, about riding and about sci fi conventions. Turns out I'm a fan. The folks that attend those things are FANS! Most of the people there, even the ones that weren't in costume, had all attended them for years and all over the country. It was fun and interesting...but not that fun and interesting.

You have come to the end of my ride report...

Ahh...thankyouverymuch! (not a prosthetic gut, by the way)

Your Friday Moment of Zen

2007-06-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of my best good friend Raf over at The Boys Blog. It's kind of sad that they didn't elaborate on the contents of the clip.

I'm off to Cinci for lunch with friends before heading south another 300 miles to Knoxville to embrace my inner dork. I'll elaborate when I get back.

Have a great weekend and try not to e-mail your boss any porn.

I will not marry. A declaration.

2007-05-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

WARNING: something's been festering a few days and is about to be spewed forth in raw, undigested, unvarnished form.

So, I had a conversation with someone the other day about the fact that I do not wish to marry until everyone in this country who wants to marry (man and woman, man and man, woman and woman) has the right to marry. This person, a female, was skeptical about it because they felt it would limit my pool of possible mates.

Now, I just had an issue where a woman wouldn't date me because I'm an agnostic and wouldn't go to church with her and our hypothetical children(!), so I know that I'm in danger of putting my foot in my mouth here when it comes to exclusion and keeping an open mind. But, I've never shown any fear of putting my foot in my mouth...CLEARLY.

There are some absolutes I now feel I need to lay down.

1) Formally, I here now state that I will NOT marry until everyone in this country has the right to marry anyone they wish. We will look back on disallowing gay marriage in ten or fifteen years as we now look back on the anti-miscegenation laws. It's absolutely unconscionable that we don't go ahead and fix this now.

2) I will not enter into a long-term relationship with anyone who is racist or anti-gay rights nor anyone who thinks it is okay to produce more than two children per couple in a time when our planet is already over-populated. I'm all for adoption of you want more than two kids (Go Angelina and Brad!). There are thousands of children out there who need loving homes.

Okay, I reserve the right to add to this, but not subtract from it. [/rant]

Choosey Choosers Choose Better Than Me

2007-05-24T05:47:00.001-07:00

My cuz and I were talking about relationships last night via chat. We, like so many of my friends, have pretty much decided we totally and possibly fatally SUCK at choosing mates. My bud Raf and I have both pretty much decided we can't trust ourselves at all.

So, here's my idea:

I want to set up a committee to approve my mates before I commit long-term.

I figure if someone likes me enough, they'll be willing to sit down in a room with or chat on line with or talk on the phone with five or six people close to me for a total of a few hours over a couple of weeks in order to get with me on a permanent basis.

Then, the committee can meet in private via teleconference and discuss their findings and come to a decision.

Here's my committee:

Raf
JJMcD
Lucious ElJay
Thrashgoddess
Timmy
Daniel

Tie breaker and special consultant: Darelectra aka the artist formerly known as KT, my first love. We only talk once a year, but she's been right about every relationship and woman I've dated since HS.

If you're not on the list, don't be offended. I picked, in part, based on rounding out the collective knowledge. If you are on the list, be honored. I trust your judgement implicitly.

Now, think any intelligent, well-grounded fems will actually submit to this inquisition? Hell, I figure it's gotta be better than what I'm doing so far.

Personal Blogging and Some Personal Meanderings

2007-05-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

So, it's been brought to my attention over time that personal blogs is what people want, not my rants on various things. So, even though I feel I should tell you that I'm right. About everything. I'm going to also try filling everyone in on the goings on in my life once or twice a week.

I re-entered the dating world a couple weeks ago. After dating a younger woman for a week, we parted ways because...well, honestly because she's narrow minded and racist to boot. Honestly, I think she's just still young, has some learning to do. We had fun and I liked hanging out with her, but...we're not for each other.

So, at least I got my oars in the water.

Speaking of, I'm going Kayaking bright and Early Memorial Day morning. It's also Taste of Cincinnati on Monday. I'd like to ride in and see some bands. Depends on what time we get off the water.

Sunday I think I'm going to ride 'Nona out to see Serpent Mound and Fort Ancient...maybe a few more sites, too. Take lots of pics, see a little of what Ohio has going on. Any suggestions?

Uhm...how many canaries need to lay at your feet before you leave the coal mine?

2007-05-24T05:35:00.001-07:00

Does this bother anyone else the way it bothers me?

I mean, my bike gets 50+MPG. How are you SUV drivers fairing this summer? What about you independent truckers?

Speaking Ill of the Dead

2007-05-15T15:20:00.000-07:00

Well, when I read that Jerry Falwell was dead, I was happy. I won't lie and sugar coat it. The man was a bigoted douche nozzle and I'm glad he's gone. It's disgusting to say you live in the name of a god and a religion that espouses the value of all life and tolerance for all people and be a hateful, nasty human being.

I was all ready to write a post highlighting some of his career low-lights, when I played a hunch and hopped over to AMERICAblog. Lead blogger John Aravosis beat me to it and did it WAY better than I could have. Well done, John.

Check it out for yourself.

There's been a lot of bigotry in the news the last year or so. Kramer, Mel Gibson, etc, etc, etc. I'm sick of it. We're better than this as a nation. It's time to bury these people literally and figuratively and really give equal rights and treatment to ALL people of ALL colors, sexual orientations and cultures.

Sorry to have been away from you so long

2007-05-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the nether-regions (my own, I'm afraid) and I should be posting more.

I got my new bike, Wynona, a BMW F650GS a week and a half ago and I'm absolutely smitten. She's one of the very best things that's ever happened to me. I waited a long time and researched three years before deciding what bike to purchase and I'm absolutely giddy as a school boy.

See pics here and also here. Yes, I'm P.B.W.S. or Pokes which is Pokes Badgers With Spoons...it's from an Eddie Izzard comedy routine about religion.

The process of learning to ride has been fascinating. It's physical, but only slightly. It's primarily mental. It's proving to be an excellent exercise in controlling my ADD. I learn something new every time I go out.

It does give me sad insight into just how bad people in this country drive. People suck. Bad.

I've also been dating a bit. Didn't really work out in this case, but it was fun. Now that the oars have been in the water, I'm sure I'll be getting around the pond a bit...it's a small pond, though, so I'm sure it won't take long to run out of real estate, so to speak.

MSF Class, Day II

2007-04-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

As previously stated, I awoke from CRAZED dreams about, among other things, the performance artist/singer in a punk band I dated back in the mid nineties in Austin. Hadn't thought about her in a long time. Weird night. A little chilly, but what a great morning. Ate breakfast sitting at the picnic table while Canada Geese flew over. Sorry, again no pics, but the caffeine hadn't started working yet.

I tootled around a little in town and then headed to the range to read and watch again. When class started, I found my trusty steed right where he belonged, at the head of the class!

After what seriously seemed like about forty-five minutes, they lined us up to take the exam one by one. They called it a celebration of skills. I, however, didn't JUST fall off the turnip truck. That was several weeks ago. But, the good news is (for me anyway, not the other drivers on the road) that I passed.

Everyone smiling big for the camera, ready to go home.

I'm still as happy as I could be with my Scorpion EXO 700. Haven't worn the Discos for more than a couple minutes. But they feel good so far. Going to start wearing them for my ten minute walk to and from work this week to break them in. That should be sufficiently dorky to ruin ANY chances I have of meeting a single female in the near future.

Thanks for riding along....

MSF Class

2007-04-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the day finally came Friday for me to take my Motorcycle Safety Foundation rider course (under the badge of Motorcycle Ohio). I left work Friday at noon, ran late getting out of the house, took longer than I expected to GET to BMW Columbus, took longer than it should have to buy my boots and helmet, took longer than I thought to drop off the second half of my down payment (W-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!!!!) and so I got to Mansfield JUST in time to roll into class with no time to spare to set up camp. I think all the pre-reading I did kind of usurped the classroom portion. But, I guess it was good for reinforcement.

After class and chatting a bit with the instructors and students, I got to go find a fleabag motel to sleep in for the night because it was FAR too dark to set up camp. No pics of that, sorry. I've lived in worse neighborhoods, but not by much. I started to say hi to the guys with their hibachi out on the porch at midnight grilling, but they glared at me as I got out of the car. Let's leave it at that.

That morning I got up and hauled some booty to the campground to set up, went to Miejer and stocked my cooler with water, Gatorade, snacks and food for the rest of the weekend and then headed over to the range to watch the morning class and read a bit. Then, the time came. Sorry ahead of time for the lack of action shots. There was NEVER anyone around to take pics while we rode.

I picked out my trusty steed for the weekend, a little Yamaha Trailee.

It was the closest thing they had to an F (yeah, I know, but how do you think all the Hardley riders felt about their Rebel 250s?), and actually pretty fun to tool about on. Wish I'd have had some time to squid around while the instructors weren't watching. I did make sure to run every part of the course as fast as I could, including running the slalom cones in the top of second (highest gear we were allowed to be in) and running the oval with the throttle pegged. Noting big, but fun to me!

The instructors laying out the course.

The instructors having the same conversation they have every week about how we're the worst bunch of students they've had yet, "Especially that PBWS, dude. I've seen better throttle control on the bumper cars at King's Island."

The class talking about the instructors, and the dork behind the camera.

Then, after the first day of class I returned to my temporary home sweet hooch. It don't look like much...

But the view ain't bad.

((YAWN!))Now if you'll excuse me I'm really tired and need to...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Easter in and around Temple, TX

2007-04-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me these. Good thing there's no such thing as global warming.

Top Contender for Best Headline EVER

2007-04-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

It's sick. It's disturbing. It's just not right. But, it's so rock and roll, it's ridiculous.

Yes, it's a real headline and evidently a true story:

Keith Richards: "I snorted my dead father's ashes"

Finally, new hope for the Dems and a shot for Hillary

2007-03-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe JUST in time.

And now for you today, because I love you, comedy

2007-03-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

A special thank you to my good bud Blue Goose from the Chain Gang Forum for this, the most beautiful piece of guerrilla theater I have ever seen.

You know about 419 scams. You may not know that you do, but you do. They're the lovely e-mails you get from Nigerian business men down on their luck. They need your bank account number so they can transfer tons of money to your account and have you send them some. They want to buy your car and send you a check for ten thousand dollars over the amount hoping you'll send the extra back to them. How many of these e-mails have you received? I have received MANY. Including ten when I was selling the Impala via eBay (sniffle, sob).

So, to that end, there is now a growth of scambaiters. Those who, when receiving one of these e-mails retaliate. Not by replying FU, like I have been known to. But by seizing on the absolute desire of these scum for money and using it to make them into marionettes. If you'd like to watch them pull the strings and see how it's done, go to their website.

And now for all of you, especially the Monty Python fans among you, I give you without further ado...The Parrot Sketch.

This will be the shortest, simplest post I'll probably ever make.

2007-03-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Our president has lied, coerced, bullied and otherwise made a mockery of our system of government too much and for too long. Write your senators and representatives and tell them it's time to impeach the president. If Clinton can get an impeachment vote for getting oral in the oval, Dubya should sure as hell get it for lying and obstructing justice.

Bad Girls, Bad!

2007-03-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty disgusted with the actions of the Delta Zeta sorority at DePauw, purging their members who were minorities or not classically thin and beautiful.

I'm MORE disgusted at their national chapter, here at Miami, for backing them up. As a greek myself, this is a perfect example of everything bad about the greek system and nothing good.

Good on DePauw for kicking those girls to the curb. I wish Miami would sanction the national chapter.

Discrimination is wrong. Period.

For those living in a cave: The story

EDIT: In the interest of fairness, I took a look at the sorority's web site. Their defense goes something like this "...Delta Zeta national leadership undertook the membership review and made decisions thereon based solely upon each woman�s [sic] commitment to Delta Zeta�s [sic] recruitment plans moving forward."

Yes, yes. Surely you're right. The women booted out surely just happened to be heavier than the rest and all the minority members. Happens all the time. Fatties and foreigners lack commitment. This is obviously a problem of perception and bad treatment in the press.

B-A-R-F!

I would buy that story...if my IQ were that of the average fencepost.

More News I Couldn't Possibly Make Up

2007-03-06T06:55:00.000-08:00

I wish I had cable if only to see Jon Stewart handle this one tonight. Follow this carefully, note the players and think about it for a second.

China is giving Japan a bunch of s#!t over their refusal to compensate WWII Comfort Women. "I believe the Japanese government should face up to this part of history, take responsibility, seriously view and properly handle this issue," Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing says.

What's next, Dubya giving a lecture on the importance of human rights?

The really sick part of this is the Japanese response, though. The Japanese are blaming private contractors used during WWII to round the women up. "it was not as though military police broke into peoples' homes and took them away like kidnappers," Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has said.

Yuck.

Strange News, Good News, Bad News

2007-03-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Headline: 420 Pound Woman Gives Birth, Shocked She Was Pregnant

Yeah, not half as shocked as I am, let me tell you. I mean, just the mechanics alone...sorry, sorry...hope you weren't eating.

Next item: I hereby nominate the entire editorial staff of the NYT for a Pulitzer, a Peace Prize and the award for best comeback of the year.

If you read ONE article this month. Make it this one.

I've been very upset about the death of the watchdogs of democracy. The press have become swill peddlers and nothing more. But, just this one editorial may make it all better. No matter WHAT your political stripes, I can't see you NOT being behind this. Please forward it to your friends, and more importantly, if you feel so inclined your congresspeople.

Now, the bad news: You might be cooking your sperm

And now back to the meaningless grind and the slow wait to get the verdict on grad school. HELL YES I'M NERVOUS. Like a sheep in Montana on Friday night, I tell you what.

Ignore this posts, it's just pic hosting.

2007-03-02T22:37:00.000-08:00

RIAA Asks College Students to Stop Illegal Downloading

2007-03-01T13:15:00.000-08:00

With no sign of irony or humor, the Recording Industry Association of America sent letters to 13 universities this week asking students to stop downloading music illegally. The same day, universities received letters from MAYED asking students to stop drinking while underage, letters from the Partnerslip for a Drugg Frei Amurika asking kids to stop smoking pot and from parents groups asking them to curb frivolous sex, wear clean underwear and call their mothers once a week.

Are you shitting me?

This is your new strategy?

(sits the RIAA down)

Look, folks, the reason these kids aren't buying your product is because it sucks and it's overpriced. You haven't kept up with technology or culture. You're a dinosaur in the age of man. If you can't hack it, adapt. Begging and swatting at the humans with your tail isn't going to work. In fact, it's going to provoke them to make brontosaurus burgers out of your ancient, uncreative ass.

Consider Yourself Warned

2007-02-28T06:38:00.001-08:00

The cuteness contained in the link below could actually be fatal. Please be prepared to fly into spasms of gushy-ness, not matter how rough and gruff your exterior.

Three, two, one...preciousness too powerful for humankind.

Okay, now it's over the line to ridiculous

2007-02-27T07:55:00.000-08:00

By FAR the most disturbing and distressing news yet related to the Iraq war is being relayed by CNN.com this morning.

The military is skipping Iraq/desert specific training for troops in the surge because resources are stretched so thin.

As bad as things have been with well seasoned troops on the ground, I cannot imagine the hell that these ill-prepared troops will face. May whatever forces govern this universe see fit to shield them as best they can.

Why my lefty friends like HuffPo and AMERICABlog aren't on this like gravy on meat, I dunno.

The Weather Gods Take Their Revenge

2007-02-21T08:58:00.000-08:00

(I had already posted this on F650.com, so it's got smileys in it for you. Awww...how nice)

So, the weather gods took their revenge this morning for all the b!#ching I've been doing about the weather and people who don't clear their sidewalks along my walk to work (everyone!). It's run in the 40's the last two days and it rained for several hours yesterday afternoon, so there's still snow, but a lot of it is melting.

However, it was 24 degrees when I left the house, so EVERYTHING was ice, most of it smooth as if it had just been zamboni'd.

So, my normally 10 minute walk to work took 25 minutes and even so I had one very scary moment.

As I got to the corner where campus starts, the pedestrian ramp was one sheet of ice leading to a 2' berm of snow before the road. Before I could start planning a trip through the grass, I was sliding down the ramp like an Olympic ski jumper with a car heading right where I'd be landing as I tripped over the berm.

Adrenaline flowed and I started backpedaling like a scared Hanna-Barbara cartoon character. Realizing this wasn't doing anything but making me look like a total dipstick, my football instincts kicked in and I spread my feet and dropped my butt precipitously toward earth (Thank you, Coach Schwartz!). This finally stopped my forward motion against the berm as the car went by.

I won't be needing caffeine for at LEAST another hour.

Reconnecting With the Spirtual Realm

2007-02-17T17:19:00.000-08:00

My apartment is coming together slowly but surely. After several hours of putting away and organizing CDs and books, I was feeling melancholy. I figured it could be the weather. It could be lots of things.

But, having my altar set up for the first time in almost two years, I decided that it could be bad energy in the apartment and myself. So, I activated my altar and cleansed the house with sage. The smell brings an instant peace for me and the action of clearing out the negativity was very healing.

I can feel dormant feelings and connections in myself awakening every day now. I have totally neglected my spiritual self for a while now, and it's clearly taken a toll. But, I've taken the first step to healing and more than that, growing.

More on crime and punishment, NBA style

2007-02-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

Many of you have, no doubt, by now heard about John Amaechi, the former NBA player who came out of the closet post-retirement. You've probably also heard about Tim Hardaway, the former NBA allstar, and his homophobic and hateful rant on a south Florida radio show. Now, the league has suspended Hardaway from the NBA Allstar Game, and rightfully so.

King Kaufman on Salon.com wrote a great piece on the issues around this just before Hardaway's rant. I feel the need to talk about it a little more now, with Hardaway's comments, and BS apology out there.

I can sum it up with one sentence, a question: What if Hardaway was a white player talking about blacks instead of gays?

The league's commissioner David Stern needs to take a stand here and now, as do the heads of the NFL, NHL and major league baseball. They need to address TRUE diversity NOW. Not later and not half-heartedly. If sports figures can't at least behave like human beings all the time (see any number of arrests this year) they can at least speak like them in public and treat their diverse teammates with respect.

The RIGHT punishment for crooked businessmen

2007-02-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

So, how much did the CEO, CFO, the board, etc of Enron end up paying for their sins? Not a whole hell of a lot, if you followed the story. Same with World Com and all the others.

Flash forward to today in China.

Now, China has a human rights record that, I believe the technical term is, SUCKS. But, I figure if crooked corporate pirates had to actually pay a fair price for the human suffering they cause, maybe they'd think twice.

My VD morning in 500 words or less

2007-02-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

My alarm went off at 6:45 am as usual. I didn't even snooze once. Having been rather grouchified about the whole weather situation, I went to bed early (for me) and got a decent night of sleep. I got up as normal and headed for the kitchen, as I reached around to turn on the kitchen light I thought "That's weird, I always leave the bathroom light on why is it..." (click) (click, click, click) AWESOME! No power!

So, I fumble into the living room (keep in mind I just moved so there's s#!t strewn everywhere) and grab my light and rechargeable battery out of my tool kit. I look at the thermostat. Gas heat rocks. Too effin bad the thermostat runs on electricity! It's colder than sixty degrees in here (I had begun to figure that one out on my own).

Call the power company. I'm the first call they've had(!?!). Within five minutes the power is back on. She must have just had to flip a friggin' switch. I heard my neighbors next door bitchin' before I called. Morons. One of them has to have a cel.

Proud of myself, I boot up Kompy and start assessing the situation. It's 12 degrees with a wind chill of -4 outside. Very nice. Hmmm....Miami's web site won't come up. I try calling the switchboard. No dice. Hmmmm....Well, I guess this qualifies for a non-emergency call to the campus cops.

"Hello, Miami Police department, dispatcher (name withheld). We have no power. How can I help you?"

Well, there's my answer pretty much right there. Turns out we're on plan B until 10 AM which means I get paid for two hours of farting around and generally doing nothing productive. Sweet!

So, daddy gets a big waffle and bacon breakfast and an additional twenty minutes nap before he even has to get ready to leave. I packed up, got out of the house and marched to Starf__ks.

Anyone who knows me knows this is significant. I hate Starf__ks. But, I was NOT going to face the day without hot coffee. Cold Diet Dew wasn't gonna cut it. Let me tell you, the extra two blocks up hill was plenty worth that hot Venti no fat mocha. Oh, and Starf__ks didn't open until 9:30 the weather was so bad!

Got to work right at 10:00 AM and no boss in site. YES! Not a bad start to mah VD.

The Evolution of the Kansan

2007-02-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

"The Kansas Board of Education on Tuesday threw out science standards deemed hostile to evolution, undoing the work of Christian conservatives in the ongoing battle over what to teach U.S. public school students about the origins of life."

It's about time the backward-ass people of Kansas got up off their knuckles, stood upright and joined the rest of the human race.

I think the best part of the story is that there were still four knuckle-draggers who voted to keep the previous standards. Where DO they grow these people....well...Kansas, I guess, huh?

Happy Effing Monday

2007-02-12T07:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday kids. Try to keep in mind that your Monday could, in fact, be much worse. You could be the folx in the office next door whose office got soaked in rusty, boiling hot water Friday after hours and are cleaning up all their copy paper, some files and supplies and their brand new copier, or these poor bastids.

Howie said it best "Getting laid off by e-mail is right up there with getting broken up by text message."

P.S. The maintenance crews at Miami appear to be prepping for World War Three. Looks like the eminent ice storm might be pretty nasty. Great news for those of us riding the sole train everywhere. Wheee!

In with the old, out with the new

2007-02-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am in my new apartment. It's getting less gloomy by the moment. I've got the kitchen most of the way set up. DAMN, it's small. That's going to require some work. I bit the bullet and ordered a table and chairs (DOKSTA and JULES visitor chairs in white) from IKEA. It ate half my meager savings, but it was necessary. There's not enough counter space in the new kitchen for even my microwave, toaster and blender, let alone actual cooking.

The living room is still pretty much all rubber bins full of s#!t I don't have a place for. Hopefully I'll get some additional cubby shelving for my birthday and get some of that remedied. I'm also going to have to build an elevated bed frame, with the help of ACE Hardware in Oxford, to store stuff under.

I can get an idea of how it's going to work out at this point. It's just a matter of when and exactly how.

I've been a little less depressed and a little happier every day I've been here. It confirms that I did the right thing, but it's still weird. Very weird.

It's a little lonely, too. Not having another person in the house and pets everywhere all so suddenly is just really bizarre. The sudden absence of companionship has been the single biggest weight dragging on me. All my friends are on line and on the phone checking in and supporting me. But, it'd be nice just to have ONE good friend to sit in my place while I unpack stuff.

It's times like this that you REALLY appreciate the social nature of human beings. We're so much more social than our USA, rugged individual culture acknowledges.

Anyway, enough of trying to rejoin the collective via blogging, I've got The Who Ultimate Collection cranked and it's time to unpack a few more bins.

Best Response Ever

2007-02-01T07:31:00.000-08:00

Okay kids,

Daddy's got some serious upheaval going on in his personal life, but he had to share this with you in case you haven't seen it. I'm sure all of you have been following, or at least know about the story of Joseph Biden of Delaware speaking about Barak Obama (the first black president of the United States, you heard it here first) when he said:

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy," Biden said. "I mean, that's a storybook, man."

But, to me, that's not the story. Another jackass white politico putting his foot so far in his mouth he could give himself a prostate exam with his toes is nothing new. You like that? I just came up with it. Thanks. Anyway...

The story this time is Al Sharpton's response:

"Mr. Sharpton said that when Mr. Biden called him to apologize, Mr. Sharpton started off the conversation reassuring Mr. Biden about his hygienic practices. 'I told him I take a bath every day,' Mr. Sharpton said"

Say whatever the hell you will about Al Sharpton, two things are indisputable. 1)He was James Brown's best friend 2)The man can TALK.

The Next American Idol.

2007-01-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

Let me introduce you to the next American Idol. So what if he's Chinese?

Red Skies and Purple Earth

2007-01-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

We've got a REPUBLICAN president saying the Iraqis need more help, more troops, more money. We've got a DEMOCRATIC response to this saying, essentially, that it’s time for the Iraqis to take responsibility for themselves and that us continuing to support them with more troops and money sends the wrong message...

Does this strike ANYONE else as a parallel universe situation i.e. welfare, affirmative action, etc?

I mean, we've got a REPUBLICAN administration that is loose (to say the least) on fiscal responsibility, increased the size of government more than any in history...and now soft on personal/national responsibility.

It's Bizzarro world, ladies and gents. Bizzarro world!

I mean, the sky isn't red and the earth isn't purple...but don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow and find it to be so.

Oh, man....OUCH!

2006-12-08T07:58:00.000-08:00

Can you think of anything worse than science pointing at your crotch and saying "Look, it's just like a penis, only smaller!"

Looks like in the race for "Saddest Story of the Year," we've suddenly got ourselves a contest.

If they can find the soldier who figured this out, he deserves a medal

2006-12-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

Seriously. I wanted to be a marine when I was younger. I've seen Heartbreak Ridge more times than should be admitted in public. "Improvise. Adapt. Overcome."

It's snowing in Hell, but I'm still smiling

2006-12-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I fell once while shoveling ruts in the drive so we could get out easily and once on the way to my office. That got all the piss and vinegar out of me and I headed over to the dining hall for a hot mocha and chuckled out loud at all the grouchy people waddling over the inch of snow. Staying mad after going @$$ down twice is just asking for trouble.

The really good news is the temerature is dropping rapidly. We'll be looking at solid ice in about an hour. I think I'll bundle up and go sit on the porch and watch the college kids bust their @$$es on the way in.

http://www.miami.muohio.edu/about_miami/virtual_tour/webcam/

Saddest Story of the Year

2006-11-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

It's bad enough how many soldiers have died because of this illegal and idiotic war. But this is just really, really, really sad. Thank you, Freewayblogger.

Extended Rant on compulsory Military Service

2006-11-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

All the talk lately about reinstating the draft has me thinking a LOT about compulsory military service (CMS). Growing up in a military family, I have a fair amount of experience with who our military is. Of course, growing up an officer's kid is very, very different from the experience of the enlisted families.

I'm sorry, but the truth is, in fact, that a lot of the military is made up of people with little or no options in life besides the military. They have no way to get an education otherwise and some of them couldn't hold down a regular job if someone wasn't screaming in their ear telling them what to do.

I think this is why, beside the general psychological toll of war, we see some of the bad behavior of our troops in places like Iraq and Okinawa. These aren't high school honor students. They're the children left behind. The inner city and rural kids who don't get great educations and don't have families who can send them off to college or help them open their own business.

What if there were honor students in our ranks? What if the artsy-fartsy kids and the punk rockers and the jocks and everyone else you went to high school with spent the two years after high school in the military?

People say our military is great BECAUSE it's voluntary. I think that's a big load of political BS. I think they say that because it's hard to explain to people why it would be good for everyone to have CMS.

An expanded military such as would be provide by CMS would be more of a deterrent, and more importantly (in my opinion) allow for more humanitarian and peacekeeping work, making us a better global citizen.

I also think that if people served two years in the military, they would be better, more responsible citizens. I think voting participation would go through the roof. There would be more at stake for everyone in their vote for a congressman or president. Citizens would be more apt to follow world events.

I really think this is an absolute win-win for everyone. Especially if you add my special twist. Add a buy out option. If the rich don't want their kids to serve, that's fine. You can't get a senator to get you out of it, but you can pay $25,000 a year to be released from service.

I'd really, really like to dialogue on this. Let me know what you think.

The Iranian Example

2006-11-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

I got this video from my girlfriend's mom (She's Iranian-American, her mother and father emigrated before she was born).

Watch this and then tell me we should still be meddling in other countries like Iraq, Venezuela, etc. Meddling in Iran sure did us well.

I'd rather pay $3, $5 even $8 a gallon for gas than continue to meddle in international affairs and tinker with a world system we can't control and don't understand. We created 2/3 of the "Axis of Evil." I think our dismal record in this area warrants a halt in similar CIA and military operations and a change in policy.

We need to get OUT of the meddling business and stick to diplomacy only. Let's reform the UN and make it work. Let's institute compulsory military service, two years for every 18 year old. Let's use our larger army for humanitarian work to gain the world's trust and respect again. It's cheaper, anyway.

We've known this doesn't work since before 1987, how many times do we have to learn this lesson?

Full 22min version.

Grouchy Bastard!

2006-11-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

I love it when animals strike back at the humans ruining their planet. What a grouchy guy!

Fixed the link (Thanks, Arash). It's to the text story. The link-to video wasn't working. Darnit. The video is great. It's a bunch of retirees being nibbled by the grouchy little bastard while they swim. Too funny.

Yes! Finally! Easily differentiable American currency!

2006-11-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Anyone who's known me long enough and has heard enough of my rants has probably been subjected to me bitching about US currency. It's all green. It's all the same size. It's a pain in the ass to find the bill you want in your wallet or be sure that you're receiving the right bill from someone handing you one.

Not for long!

It took a really interesting judge's ruling regarding fair treatment of the blind. But, we may soon have variable size and color currency, just like most of the developed world.

As if you needed another reason NOT to go see the new Rocky

2006-11-29T07:39:00.000-08:00

In more news that I couldn't possibly make up, the sixth Rocky film, due out in a few weeks, is being marketed as a Christian film. Let all the non-believers be pummeled in the ring.

O.J. Simpson is a total scum bag and so are you

2006-11-16T07:58:00.000-08:00

...if you buy his book or even watch Fox's TV show about him. In fact, although my favorite show on television by FAR is 'House' on Fox, I am seriously considering an all-out boycott over this.

If there was every any doubt in the public consciousness that this man is a murdering, lying son of a b!#¢h, there shouldn't be anymore. Even his publisher says this counts as a confession.

There are two families with gaping holes in them and two children without a mother. Not to mention the fact he hasn't even paid the families the money they won in the civil trial that found him liable for the deaths of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

To quote my former hero, Denis Leary (until I discovered the real deal, Bill Hicks) "Everyone is forgiven...Except you O.J...F__k you, O.J."

Why is this $#!t okay?

2006-11-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

From a local news report on future gas prices:

"A report out today by the Consumer Federation of America says that nine of the 13 major automakers had lower fleet mileage averages in 2005 than they did in 1996."

I'm sorry, but the American people ought to be suing the automakers and the oil companies class action style for the over-inflated prices we're paying and the crappy MPG our cars get. It's not like they're hurting for money. Exxon Mobil just posted the largest quarterly profit for any company of any kind ever....in history. There is NO other possible explanation than simple, disgusting greed.

Global warming is real, kids. Either deal with it, or have generations of your ancestors urinating on your grave.

Blue Morning

2006-11-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

Well, America has finally answered the question posed by the great Bill Hicks;

"How far does the man's d!@k have to go up your a$$ before you realize you're getting f#@&ed?"

Congratulations, America. Just don't take so long next time. I was getting pretty sore.

The person who invented these should win a Nobel prize...

2006-11-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

...or at very least a top job with NASA. Anyone who comes up with a product that counts on both the laziness, horniness and short attention span of the human male, deserves the highest of honors. Cheers!

Coming from anyone else...

2006-10-31T12:45:00.000-08:00

You know, even though I occasionally have fun at their expense, I find a lot of things wonderful about the French. I really do. I admire the hell out of their staunch stand as a secular society and who can bitch about their appreciation of food and wine? I even agree that Halloween is truly over-commercialized to the point of being comical...but...setting up an association to combat it? Come on, quit begging people to make fun of you.

Blog Post #100...just a little late is all

2006-10-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

For several weeks I had GRAND plans for what to do with my 100th post, which led to procrastination, which led to other delays, which led to more procrastination and more delays...you get it...

So, here it is, just another post:

A real step toward male reproductive responsibility!

There's going to be a trial of a men's pill that doesn't involve female hormones. Now if they can just keep the study participants' heads from growing to the size of beach balls. Yes, I did mean the heads between their shoulders, sicko.

Miami Zoo Exibits Poop

This one's for you, sis.

Oh, S#!t. And we thought we had problems with anorexia before now.

Yes, calorie-restricted diets seem to prolong life. Sweet Jeebus, we're stuck with Naomi Campbell's skinny, grouchy, cel phone-throwing a$$ forever! Oh, the humanity.

I'm off to heat up my Lean Cuisine. Have a good one.

Adventures in Free Speech with Borat

2006-09-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

CAUTION: link contains pictures of mostly bare man ass.

While I'm not a huge fan of Ali G, I find the continuing adventures of his most inflammatory alter-ego, Borat very interesting on a socio-political level. It amazes and entertains me to no end that the government of Kazakhstan has time and money to spend on a full out PR campaign and a trip to meet with the president of the United States to discuss the effect a comedian has on their image.

What does not entertain me is that our president is taking time and money to meet with the Kazakhs on this issue instead of telling them to grow a sense of humor. Shouldn't our president be a little more worried about the people dying in Afghanistan and Iraq, terrorism (separate issues, kids) or maybe reducing the national debt instead of increasing it more than any president ever?

Your Friday Moment of Zen

2006-09-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

Straightest. Weatherman. Ever.

P.S. My sister sent me another great moment of zen, but it's really, really silly and absolutely FULL of profanity. If that sounds like your cup of tea, get in touch and I'll fire it to you.

More News I Couldn't Possibly Make Up...

2006-09-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

...and more evidence our president is, himself, "intellectually disabled." I mean, I guess interacting with American Idol fans has given Clay Aiken some experience with the intellectually challenged.

Personal Notes

2006-09-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

I've been telling several (okay both) of my loyal readers I'd post pictures of my training setup in the garage. It's all dialed in and working nicely now. I've just been too busy to take the fifty foot walk from the office to the garage to take the pictures. No, I'm not kidding. I'll get it done this weekend.

I've done a couple of full workouts. Starting with 3-4 rounds of 3 minutes apiece with three minute rests. My goal is 3-4 10 minute rounds with three minute rests. Fat will probably run off my food in fear or burst into flames in my mouth at that point.

It's incredible what a workout it is to punch a punching bag with everything you have for three minutes at a time. When I'm done my arms don't really like to be lifted above my waist so much.

My diet did take a shot to the crotch at lunch today. I was tired and grouchy this morning because Trotsky has been keeping us up at night and didn't pack a lunch. I'm way busier than I thought and only have thirty minutes so I ate out of the vending machine. Snyder's of Hannover sourdough pretzels and peanut M&M's. The lunch of champions.

Well, that's about all I have to complain about. Have a good weekend folks.

-M

EHHH! Scary!

2006-09-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

I hope God is on your side, dude, 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't mess with Stewart and Colbert!

Sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm back, don't worry.

Unenviable Position of the Modern Liberal

2006-08-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

So, anyone who knows me well knows that, IMHO the reason liberals are having trouble getting things done in this nation is that as a group have fractured viewpoints. The right has one viewpoint, they're sheep. The left has a myriad of viewpoints on each issue, let alone overall, and it's hard to get one, solid voting block together. Critical thinking is a bitch when it comes to politics.

Now, there is evidence to suggest we've got a more, well...biological problem. We aren't reproducing enough. Oops.

So, in order to win back the country, we've got to be globally irresponsible and reproduce more?

Terrific.

Well, I still insist we have more and better sex than the right. We just practice safe (and smart, and fun, and...well..you know) sex. Let's see a scientific study on that.

A rare victory for science and humanity

2006-08-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

In what has to be counted as an extremely rare victory for science, the FDA finally went along (for the most part) with the recommendation its own panel of scientists and approved PlanB, "the morning after pill." Women under 18 still need a doctor's prescription, so it's not the total victory some reproductive and women's advocacy groups wanted, but it's a lion's share better than what it looked like was going to happen as recently as a few months ago.

I've been following this story fairly closely as a marker of the current administration's war on science. It's fascinating to me that after many indications that the administration was not just influencing, but completely changing the FDA's policies, suddenly the FDA basically did what it had initially said it would.

The question now, for me anyway, is why?

Did science truly prevail, or are the Bush administration's ideologically-based policies losing grip as the administration loses influence in the wake of subterranean approval ratings and a failing war?

Ha-ha, neener-neener, pbbbbbbbbt!

2006-08-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Awwww...you mean the already ridiculously, sickeningly, disgustingly rich can't get copious amounts of free stuff just for showing up somewhere and not pay taxes on it? That's the saddest thing I've heard in at least the last five seconds.

Preach on, brother. Preach the f@#% on!

2006-08-18T17:01:00.000-07:00

Man, it's nice to see someone else get fired up about the absolute Bovine Skatology we're being force-fed by this administration.

Thank you, John Aravosis of AMERICAblog.

A-Freaking-Men!

Egg on my face

2006-08-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I do know it turned out not to be explosives and they sent the nice Pakistani woman on her way. So sue me.

Hold on to your hats, folks.

2006-08-17T16:00:00.000-07:00

I figure things are about to get really interesting really fast.

A little slice of my life...

2006-08-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

Important preface...I'm having a crappy morning and haven't had enough caffeine. This may all be mindless drivel. Consider yourself warned.

So, I've been wanting to get some punching bags to create a good training set up at home. For those who don't know, I took some Krav Maga classes (about 3 mos worth) last year, but the drive to Cincinnati and the rednecks who ran the school proved to be too much. I finally got everything ordered a couple of days ago from Everlast through their web site.

Here are my bitches about this experience. One: I ordered a 72," 100lb Thai-style heavy bag, a 50lb two-chain uppercut (up-elbow, down-strike, forward kick, in my case) bag, three springs and gloves. With shipping (on 150lbs of bags, it's a lot) it came out to a wee bit under $500. That's not at all a small order for any on-line retailer and a HUGE investment for us at my house. No matter how many times I asked (and I asked) they would not give me a discount on my order.

Okay, so I let that go.

Then this morning I get a message on my cel phone saying they were out of stock on the leather Thai style heavy bags...until December.

Now, at this point, I was about to go into meltdown. I have been waiting paciently for a place to hang my bags for while now. My girlfriend's father is going to be in town next weekend and will be able to help me hang them in the garage. I wanted leather and not vinyl because EVERYTHING I've read about heavy bags says take leather over synthetics because of wear.

I called them back and inquired into the situation, making sure I had all the details right. Yes, I did, not until December would they have leather Thai-style Everlast heavy bags. So, I vent a little telling the girl how inconvenient this is for me, why isn't it posted on their website that they are out of stock, etc, etc.

Now comes the twist in the story. I know (and I can't remember how) that Everlast and Title boxing are the same company. The products are made of the same materials in the same factories (goodness knows where) and just have different labels stuck on them. So, I ask the customer service rep "Do you have the Title Boxing leather, Thai-style bags in stock?" "Let me check. Yes, we do." Well, after double-checking that they are, in fact, the exact same product made with the same materials in the same factories with a different label, I had her switch my order to a Title bag.

Now, let me just ask you fine people: Why in all that is sacred, holy and pleasurable did a trained CSR not offer me that choice in the first place? Why stress out a potential customer when the money goes to the same damn pot no matter what label is on it? Does EVERYONE on the planet do a worse job of customer service than I was ever ALLOWED to when I was in retail and a CSR for an online retailer? Anyone else have "WONDERFUL" customer service stories?

Is Bush an idiot?

2006-08-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Not that we don't already know the answer to that question.

Video is a little long and large.

Important News Story

2006-08-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

Please take five minutes to read the story linked to in this post. The story comes via AMERICAblog.

This poor guy was detained Sept 12, 2001 until this July with no charges ever filed. This is the a great example of where we need limits on the police powers we handed over to the government after Sept 11. It's also a perfect example of why judicial oversight on warrantless wiretaps and other covert police activities is critical. The law enforcement officials in this story made every effort to circumvent restrictions on how long someone can be held without charge and often ignored those restrictions outright.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for warrantless wiretaps if judicial oversight is maintained. I'm also for holding detainees suspected of terrorism for up to a year without charges if judicial oversight is maintained. Are you seeing a theme here, 'cause I gotta tell you, I sure am.

Profiling is Good, Dummies

2006-08-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

UK Muslims are grumbling about a plan to profile air travelers including ethnic and religious backgrounds. Hey, kids. This is one of the BEST tools in the world to catch terrorists and I'm all for it on one condition: that all Muslims from Saudi Arabia and Pakistan get the full-on 'jelly-finger' treatment. I'm talking full body cavity search deep and hard. Because, let's face it folks, even if our government is in complete and utter denial and calls these people our allies in the war on terror...We all know that they are producing terrorists like the US produces fat kids.

And the war goes on...

2006-08-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from the global war on terrorism and the war in Iraq, two TOTALLY different things, kids, just so you know. I know Mommy and Daddy won't tell you that, but that's because they're ignorant...But, I digress...Sort of...Back to another war.

I'm sure we're all familiar by now with my war on this country's obesity-rights movement. If not, here's a refresher (bottom of page). Here's the current news: Turns out that fat people now outnumber the hungry. Wow.

I mean, my solution is that we simply feed anyone with a certain BMI or higher
(let's say 38+) to the starving folks. If they care that little about other people that they can increase their weight to astronomically unhealthy levels while others starve, don't they kind of fail a basic test of humanity?

Oh, well that's just f#@$ing terrific!

2006-08-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

Eleven Egyptian men on student visas disappeared. Next we'll hear that they were on their way to tour a nuclear power plant for their "science class."

Me

2006-08-01T07:15:00.000-07:00

Just ignore the man in front of the sunset.

The Chistian Left?

2006-07-11T00:49:00.000-07:00

Wow. There is now a group taking the religious right to task over the way they portray god, jesus and themselves.

'"We are furious that the religious right has made Jesus into a Republican. That's idolatry," Campolo said. "To recreate Jesus in your own image rather than allowing yourself to be created in Jesus' image is what's wrong with politics."'

Amen, brother. Amen.

WHAT year is it?

2006-07-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

Is it 2006? Are you sure? Because we have a United States Senator, a Democrat, saying "I've had a great relationship with [Indians]...You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent." Seriously, see for yourself. He said it on CSPAN! Moron!

Why don't you drop him an e-mail and let him know that racism and sterotyping aren't cool in the year 2006?

Ohhhhh, I'm Irritated

2006-07-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

Back on December 15th, 2005, I published a piece on the lawsuit against Miami University over its same-sex partner benefits. On that same day I e-mailed John Aravosis of AMERICAblog, one of my very favorite lefty bloggers, about it. There was never any coverage on his site (or any other lefty site, I might add!).

Now a similar suit is going on at Michigan State University and Arianna Huffington's HuffPo is on it like stink on poo!

I realize it's a little bigger school with more visibility, but for goodness sake, the Miami lawsuit is sponsored by a GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL!!! Help us out here, folks. Publicize the lawsuit at Miami too. It's just as ignorant and just as important.

My original post:

"Ohio Republican Representative Guilty of Gay Bashing and Bad Math

Well, I can't wait anymore. I wanted to do more research on this, but quite honestly, it speaks for itself.

Ohio State Rep. Tom Brinkman Jr. has filed a lawsuit against Miami University citing its same-sex partner benefits. According to an article in the Cincinnati Enquirer, Brinkman is upset that his tuition and tax dollars (he has two kids attending Miami) are funding Miami's creation of what he calls "a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance or effect of marriage."

For those who don't know, Ohioans passed Issue 1, banning gay marriage and common law marriage (by accident), in November of 2004. Brinkman says that Miami's same-sex partner benefits are in direct violation of that amendment.

So, I guess that the approximately $100,000 that Miami spends a year on same-sex partner benefits, around two-tenths of one percent of the total $50 million benefits budget, is much higher than the hundreds of thousands of dollars Miami will spend defending against Brinkman's suit, funded by Arizona-based Christian legal group Alliance Defense Fund.

What an idiot. Not only is he a bigot. He can't even do basic math.

I would like to commend Miami for fighting the lawsuit. I'm sure that most of their defense is based on good business sense. There are a lot of faculty who will come here to work if we have same-sex partner benefits who wouldn't otherwise, making us more competitive in hiring. But, they're still doing the morally correct thing.

This is a national issue and every university who offers same-sex benefits in a state with anti-gay marriage amendments is watching this very closely. I'll keep you updated."

God Save the Stupid

2006-06-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

This on kind of speaks for itself.

Unwed Couples Discriminated Against Openly.

2006-05-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been busier than a one-armed paper-hanger. There have been lots of things I've wanted to share with you guys, sorry I've been such a neglectful net nerd. It's funny what will motivate me when my motivation is low.

When my lady and I moved to Ohio together, we noticed a LOT of subtle marriage pressure and discrimination against unwed couples. This story, however, is an example of that taken to an outrageous extreme.

I'll try to be better about posting...I wish you guys would be better about commenting.

Pesticides Shrink Penises

2006-05-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

"We know there has been a dramatic increase in penile and genital abnormalities in baby boys," Guillette said.
A followup study by another scientist involving healthy couples with 5,000 healthy babies also found reduced penis size with higher contamination levels."

As a guy, this freaks me out for reasons that should be obvious. But, if pesticides that are available at your local grocery store or "Megalo Mart" are causing birth defects, maybe we shouldn't be taking science out of government, President Shrubbery.

By the way, if you haven't read the cover story on Bush's failures as president in the most recent Rolling Stone, go buy it now. I finished reading it to my lady last night before bed. She's practically apolitical and it effected her pretty heavily.

Good thing we invaded Iraq to get cheap oil

2006-04-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

So, Exxon Mobil just announced an $8.7 Billion first quarter profit. That's for ONE QUARTER of a year, people! Meanwhile, back at the white house, our president just signed a bill to give BILLIONS of dollars in tax breaks to oil companies and just relaxed pollution standards for oil companies. All this with a 32% approval rating, one of the very lowest in history.

So, my question to that 32%, a paraphrase Bill Hicks, is this: How far up your hoo-ha does the man's thingee have to go before you realized you're getting screwed?

Thanks to HuffPo, Americablog and Bill Hicks.

Another story that kind of speaks for itself..

2006-04-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

"No reasonable middle-aged woman would want to be put up there before a group of young men, turned around to show her buttocks, get spanked and called abusive names, and told it was to increase sales and motivate employees." You got me there, dawg.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin...

2006-04-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

How many of your celebrity brothers and sisters have to get arrested and made to look a fool before you realize it's not cool to misbehave on planes or in airports?

What?

2006-04-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

...and I thought my salad at every meal, lots of "lean entree" type stuff, diet was hard. Sheesh.

Why the f@%k are we provoking these people?

2006-04-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

Our country is either run by morons, or people who will profit from constant war, death and misery. You be the judge.

I love it when studies state the obvious

2006-04-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

It's also interesting when life imitates studies. My lady and I just bought a coffee table, two end tables and a vacuum cleaner from Sears and we both weep like little babies while watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition (me more than her, actually...and I don't know why). But, saying that Anna Nicole Smith makes people less than likely to buy a product isn't exactly splitting the atom, now is it?

"Ty Pennington, the megaphone-wielding host of ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," isn't the most recognized name in Hollywood, but he carries the most clout on Madison Avenue.
The celeb handyman, who sells his own line of housewares at Sears, is the best at getting consumers to pull out the credit card, a new study says.
... Sexpot Anna Nicole Smith, hotel heiress Paris Hilton, pop tart Britney Spears, supermodel Kate Moss and real estate mogul Donald Trump were all examples of celebs whose association made it less likely a person would buy a product, the study said."

P.S. The vacuum we bought kicks major ass. It's a Eureka Boss Smart Vac 4870. It finished ahead of ALL of the Dyson vaccuums in Consumer Reports' ratings and costs less than HALF of what they do. It's even got HEPA filtration. Our apartment actually SMELLS cleaner after vacuuming with it twice.

Finally, some science I can really get behind

2006-04-24T07:45:00.004-07:00

I'm sure the Republican administration would even find a way to refute this. But, I'm sticking with the scientists on this one. I think I feel a cold coming on...better pour my lady a glass of wine.

Silly editor's note: As it turns out, this post is my 69th blog. Gotta love accidental numerology.

Another place I won't be vacationing

2006-04-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to go to Jamaica, the birthplace of Reggae. But, after reading this, it's likely I won't ever go.

Life Sucks

2006-04-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

I am currently dealing with a complete meltdown in my personal life. It is unlikely I'll be updating for a week, maybe a month, depending on how things go. Please talk amongst yourselves.

Pretty raw, but it made me laugh out loud on a ROUGH morning

2006-04-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading an article on how the government's surveillance of protests includes gay groups protesting "don't ask-don't tell." Suddenly I looked over and saw an ad for this company Outspoken Clothing. The t-shirt made me laugh so hard I'm sure I scared the old guy in the office next to me a few weeks less to live. I know I'm probably going to hell for it. But, I LOVE this statement.

"May the fetus you save be a black, gay, Wiccan, Democrat."

I wish someone would teach me to say it in Gaelic.

More protection for the oppressed chirstian majority, less for gays

2006-04-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, folks, simple lesson here. It is impossible to oppress the majority in power. It can't be done. I am sick to death of the religious right, their politicians and their lawyers. If Hitler had the lawyers the fundamentalists have, we'd all be living under swastikas.

Minorities and gays have protections because they need them. Screw you if it bothers you christian fundie babies. You don't need protection.

The fact that these jackasses are arguing that cultural sensitivity training and anti-defamation rules oppress them makes me SICK.

Why is this a big story to me?

2006-04-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

I don't have cable anymore. I didn't watch South Park much when I did. But, the fact that the show got a Peabody is fascinating to me.

We live in a nation that on its face is so puritanical (grossly so) that we can't see Janet Jackson's bare boob without freaking out and a presidential cabinet member has a statue of Justice covered up because one of hers is hanging out even though most of us fed off of one when we were babies.

We live in a nation where any explicit excretory or sex talk is banned from the radio and TV even though everyone poops and everyone has sex or we wouldn't be here.

So, what does it say that one of the most taste boundary-pushing shows on TV gets a Peabody?

I think it says that there are the enlightened few and then there's Joe six-pack, who can't bear the thought of someone else seeing or hearing sex or other "dirty talk," and sadly, seems to be running the show these days.

Humble Request for Action

2006-04-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

I don't like to ask people to sign petitons, but I'm making an exception in this case.

Below is an e-mail from my girlfriend's brother Arash about an Iranian woman and her troubling situation. As a significant other of an Iranian American cursorily familiar with situation of women in Iran, I beseech you to sign the petition.

"Hello everyone,

I rarely, if ever, send forwarded messages to people asking them to do something. Please help me in this battle. I know many of you are on local, state and national list servs and I would love to see the numbers in this petition rise. As of today, April 5th, 2006 I am signature number 5858. Lets try to double that number by the end of the month.

A young Iranian woman acted out of self defence when four men attempted to rape her and her niece. She stabbed several of them with a knife, and after one died later in the hospital, she was sentenced to death by hanging. In Iran, a married woman can receive the death penalty for being raped.

It is difficult to judge the status of women in one country by the standards of another. Iran is a signatory to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) and the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC). As an International, united people we have the responsibility to send a message. Please sign. Please don’t put it off till later.

The petition site

Arash"

All I have to say to the creationists is...

2006-04-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

...NEENER, NEENER, NEENER!

Good morning, good news day

2006-04-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Lots to get to, so let's get to it.

First and foremost, there's sex, sex, sex and more sex. Not all warm and fuzzy, either.

Bravo, Massachusetts! It's about time SOMEONE started taking care of people.

I'm sorry, but I totally agree with this UT prof regarding overpopulation. I don't care what pundits and radio show hosts say. Especially the radio show hosts.

Gotta disagree with the judge. I believe dancing IS protected under the constitution and if it isn't, it damn well ought to be.

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the feds used the Patriot Act to convict a baby-food thief. Freaking terrific watching the bill of rights burn, isn't it?

Hurray for wardrobe malfunctions!

And finally...

Shut up!

Oh, really. No s#!t?

Damn, I feel fat today.

Thank you to the Douche Nozzle Report, Huff Po and good ol BBC News.

P.S. It's LGBT awareness week, spectrum awareness week, whatever you want to call it, here at Miami. Please hug your lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans-gendered friends. Better yet, send a letter to your congresspersons supporting LGBT rights.

Won't Ever Happen Again

2006-04-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

My sister sent me the e-mail below. I've been obsessed with doing something cool on June 6 this year (6-6-6), which won't ever happen again, either.

"Tomorrow morning at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be
01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again. "

Number 2,364 of Things I Will Never, Ever Understand

2006-04-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

How ANY man, no matter what his preferences or problems are, could consent to having his testicles removed (and in a rural NC home, no less) is W-A-Y beyond me.