Keep Your Friends Close, Your Enemies Closer and Your Woman Closer Still

Just got back from Krav Maga (best class and best workout yet, incidentally) and had this e-mail from my buddy Raf (of the Cowboy's blog).:

"Wolf, Here's one for your blog, with my ready-made headline:

Keep Your Friends Close, Your Enemies Closer and Your Woman Closer Still.

Speaks for itself."

Thanks, bro. I gotta say...she's pretty hot. But, I can't decide if it's objective or because she helped put the screws to the scumbag Republicans.

Busy, busy, busy...but I couldn't pass this one up

In the world of chutzpah, it really doesn't get much better than this statement from the Secretary-General of Nigerian Football Association. Nigerian soccer referee--another career I should have chosen.

Rush Limbaugh is a racist, sexist, pill-head, douche nozzle

Now he's trashing the abilities of a 16 year-old, minority, female golfer who plays better than a lot of white men on the PGA tour. What an ass. Why is it that if most people made ONE public racist comment they'd be out of the broadcast business for life, but this guy trashes Donovan McNab and now Michelle Wie and keeps on going.

Oh, and Vijay Singh is a sexist pig as well. What he said about not playing with Annika Sorenstam just makes him a wimp and an idiot.

I have no f@&#ing idea what the f@&# they're talking about

Much to be said about this story. Seems a poll says people are swearing more these days. I take it with a grain of salt and figure it's just a poll and everyone says people do everything more or less than they used to back in "the good old days." I do love the graphic. Especially because it points out the obvious. If 67% say they are offended by profanity and 78% say they use it...I tell you, we just can't, as a nation, get over our Puritan ancestry. It's one of our downfalls.

Aside, what's with the dorky photos of the jackass bartender they quoted? Who cares what that fool looks like? Someone's editor evidently HAD to have pictures with their story.

Insane pets in the news

This is, evidently, not a joke. There's a cat terrorizing a neighborhood in Connecticut. I'm not sure what it says for the constitution of the citizens of that state, or city in specific. But, one line in particular says a lot to me about our society "At first, the restraining order allowed the cat limited freedom if Cisero [his owner] gave him Prozac." Wow.

The owner has been arrested twice and still won't control the cat or keep it in the house. They say fences make good neighbors. Sounds like this woman needs something a little more extreme, like a free beating, to be a good neighbor.

Just when you didn't think the world could get more barbaric...

You learn something new every day. Turns out that in India, abortion is commonly used as a method of sex selection. "...researchers in India and Canada said in the Lancet journal that prenatal selection and selective abortion was causing the loss of 500,000 girl births a year." Man, people are f-ing sick and stupid the world over, not just in Ohio.

Kenya won't burn cocaine until they're sure it's cocaine

Yeah, gee, sure would suck if you burned a bunch of baby powder or flour.

Feingold on The Daily Show

Wow.

Thanks again HuffPo and Crooks and Liars

Either it's gonna be a good news day...

...or I've just got a lot to bitch about this morning.

First of all, seems that if you're male, live in California or New York and you're a smoker, you might as well blow off having kids. Every time I want a cigarette now, I'm going to hear the "Pac-Man dying" sound in my head.

Second, the SAT is in deep doo-doo, or should I say significant feces. Geez, can we PLEASE spend some tax dollars finding a culturally sensitive, fair and reasonably simple way to test kids instead of trying to "Bomb the world into peace."

Third, how sad is it that we live in a time where a good piece of analysis that stands an EXCELLENT chance of teaching people how to think critically, gets more press for being slanted and biased, than being brilliant and provocative?

Fourth, here's way I would prefer not to die number 2,365.

And now....
Shut up!

Shut up!

And finally, something I NEVER, EVER thought would be said by me anywhere. Bless the Dixie Chicks. Please go buy their new album.

Thanks to HuffPo, AmericaBlog and Douche Nozzle Report.

It's 8:00 am, time to make the doughnuts.

Ah, Texas. My home sweet hoochie-mama

Yeah, this is news. TABC (Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission) agents routinely stake out grocery store parking lots in college towns to bust people for buying beer for minors. I know that first hand. I was the minor. They threatened my buddy with a citation if I contested my ticket in any way. In case you're wondering, yes, that's intimidation and illegal. But, no one cares, they're the TABC.

Well, this explains a LOT about the kids at Miami

A new study says that whiny little titty-babies grow up to be conservatives. Shocking. Really.

Can't get out of Ohio soon enough...

Agnostic as I am, there is part of me that hopes there's a special hell for this guy.

Fun with global warming

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Party House=Jail Time?

I have some mixed feelings on this one as well.

I don't think it's cool at all that college town cops act like the Gestapo. I dealt with that in San Marcos when I was first in school, and it sucked, bad. But, there is something to be said for young adults' responsibility for what goes on at their parties.

My issue is that I see NO indication of the police definition of a party that is out of control. I think this INVITES uneven application of the law.

Time for a little game

Let's play "Can these two statements POSSIBLY be from the same story?"

First:
"Such an adverse drug reaction occurs extremely rarely and this is an unfortunate and unusual situation," Dr. Herman Scholtz, head of Parexel International Clinical Pharmacology, said in a statement.

Second:
Eight men had all volunteered to take part in the trial. Two were given a placebo and were unharmed. "Two patients remain critical and four patients are serious but showing some signs of improvement," Ganesh Suntharalingam, clinical director of intensive care at Northwick Park Hospital, said in a statement Wednesday.

Okay, I'm not a medical or statistical expert. But if there are eight patients in the study, two of whom were given placebo, that leaves six who were given the real medication. Two patients in critical condition and four in serious condition also equals six. I'd say that if your drug gave six of six patients serious side effects or worse, it's a little more than "extremely rarely" or "unfortunate and unusual," you freaking knob.

I'll tell you what. If I participated in that study, you'd better hope that medication kills me. 'Cause if I got my hands on the guy responsible for me looking like the freaking elephant man, that dude's gonna be wearing his ass for a hat.

New Cat

We have a new cat, currently named Cortez after his brutal exploring ethics. We'll see how long the name sticks. It's already changed three or four times. He's also developed an inexplicable affinity for my Adidas gym bag and my Aldo shoe boxes.
Our female cat, Zoe, hates him. But, negotiations are ongoing. I'll keep you posted.

Looks like Southpark is jumping the shark

It is rather interesting how people from all religions, even scientology, are really good at preaching religious tolerance and giving people leeway until it's at their religion's expense. I'm betting marks the start of the decline of the show, as well.

What the F#@&???

Okay, first of all, dip$#!t, it's anorexia if you're male or female...second of all...I've seen part of everything Dennis Quaid has done in the last few years...is he reallyTHAT thin?

Oh F#@&!!!

Like the story says, "Ready or not, here it comes." Bird Flu appears to be on the way to poultry near you. Freaking terrific. Of course, this could be another "Plastic wrap and duct tape" situation as well. Hard to know.

Maybe I should just quit Krav Maga

Seems like I could study with Deloris the maid and learn to kick some pretty good ass.

If you bought porn on-line between 1998 and 2003...

Decoded, that means if you have a Y chromosome, you may be one of almost 18 million whose information is being sold on the black market. Congratulations.

Abortion rights for men?

This is actually fascinating to me (and others, I'm sure). To tell you the truth, I'm not sure where I stand just yet. How about you?

You suck!

Seriously.

I know a few of you are reading my blog. Get active. Leave comments. Read comments. Start a conversation, you sedentary, lazy, non-communicative bastages.

If the news day keeps up like this...

...I might be able to keep my mind off of my swollen eye and busted lip from Krav Maga last night. To start we have an NBA owner saying what I've always wanted to say to professional sports players. Then, we have a federal judge, not some county gavel-slinger, citing Billy Madison in a court footnote. Taken with House Republicans doing what the damn Democrats ought to be, namely challenging the handing over of our ports to a foreign government that harbors terrorists, it's all still not as interesting as The Donald saying he'd more or less nail his daughter. She is pretty hot though. But, ewww.

RIP Ali Farka Toure

In my world music travels (literally and figuratively) there has always been one figure who stood above pretty much everyone else. Above even Compay Segundo and his Buena Vista Social Club bretheren. That was Ali Farka Toure, the great Bluesman of Africa. He was one of those people that if you mentioned him and someone knew who he was, you knew they were alright.

Thank you, Ali.

Wow, even Uncle Walter says the war on drugs in unwinable

I've slowly moved left on the issue of decriminalization of drugs and ending the war on drugs, though I still do not support the decriminalization of all drugs. I have begun, more and more, to believe that we're wasting precious money that could be spent bettering people's lives instead of ruining them or putting them in suspended animation.

I tell you what, If even Walter Cronkite says end the war on drugs, maybe it's time we start really talking about it. This piece is long, but it really is worth the read. It even gives you something to do about it (support the Drug Policy Alliance).

So, there's this saying in Costa Rica

If anyone knows any Ticos who can tell us how they say it in Spanish (I'm pretty sure it's not a literal translation thing), let me know. But, the saying is "No scandal lasts more than three days." What it means is that by the third day people are bored of hearing about the awful things a politician or public figure has done and things die down and everyone forgets. My greatest fear is that becoming a reality hear. But, to be honest...it seems to be.

People seem to have forgotten about domestic spying.

No one is throwing a hissy about Katrina anymore.

What about the ports deal? Even the politicians are losing interest.

Don't forget about how well the war in Iraq is going.

But, everyone seems to be distracted from all that by our stronger than ever space program...

...oh, that and Lindsay Lohan's nipple.

Picture this

You're "sick" at home. Your boss calls during Oprah. You're relating how sick you are and the commercial break ends. Click. No more boss to worry about until the next commercial break.

I've been a very bad boy

...and I should be spanked for neglecting my blog. But, until my girlfriend buys a paddle, here's a few updates.