Good thing we invaded Iraq to get cheap oil

So, Exxon Mobil just announced an $8.7 Billion first quarter profit. That's for ONE QUARTER of a year, people! Meanwhile, back at the white house, our president just signed a bill to give BILLIONS of dollars in tax breaks to oil companies and just relaxed pollution standards for oil companies. All this with a 32% approval rating, one of the very lowest in history.

So, my question to that 32%, a paraphrase Bill Hicks, is this: How far up your hoo-ha does the man's thingee have to go before you realized you're getting screwed?

Thanks to HuffPo, Americablog and Bill Hicks.

Another story that kind of speaks for itself..

"No reasonable middle-aged woman would want to be put up there before a group of young men, turned around to show her buttocks, get spanked and called abusive names, and told it was to increase sales and motivate employees." You got me there, dawg.

Calvin, Calvin, Calvin...

How many of your celebrity brothers and sisters have to get arrested and made to look a fool before you realize it's not cool to misbehave on planes or in airports?

What?

...and I thought my salad at every meal, lots of "lean entree" type stuff, diet was hard. Sheesh.

Why the f@%k are we provoking these people?

Our country is either run by morons, or people who will profit from constant war, death and misery. You be the judge.

I love it when studies state the obvious

It's also interesting when life imitates studies. My lady and I just bought a coffee table, two end tables and a vacuum cleaner from Sears and we both weep like little babies while watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition (me more than her, actually...and I don't know why). But, saying that Anna Nicole Smith makes people less than likely to buy a product isn't exactly splitting the atom, now is it?

"Ty Pennington, the megaphone-wielding host of ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," isn't the most recognized name in Hollywood, but he carries the most clout on Madison Avenue.
The celeb handyman, who sells his own line of housewares at Sears, is the best at getting consumers to pull out the credit card, a new study says.
... Sexpot Anna Nicole Smith, hotel heiress Paris Hilton, pop tart Britney Spears, supermodel Kate Moss and real estate mogul Donald Trump were all examples of celebs whose association made it less likely a person would buy a product, the study said."

P.S. The vacuum we bought kicks major ass. It's a Eureka Boss Smart Vac 4870. It finished ahead of ALL of the Dyson vaccuums in Consumer Reports' ratings and costs less than HALF of what they do. It's even got HEPA filtration. Our apartment actually SMELLS cleaner after vacuuming with it twice.

Finally, some science I can really get behind

I'm sure the Republican administration would even find a way to refute this. But, I'm sticking with the scientists on this one. I think I feel a cold coming on...better pour my lady a glass of wine.

Silly editor's note: As it turns out, this post is my 69th blog. Gotta love accidental numerology.

Another place I won't be vacationing

I've always wanted to go to Jamaica, the birthplace of Reggae. But, after reading this, it's likely I won't ever go.

Life Sucks

I am currently dealing with a complete meltdown in my personal life. It is unlikely I'll be updating for a week, maybe a month, depending on how things go. Please talk amongst yourselves.

Pretty raw, but it made me laugh out loud on a ROUGH morning

So, I was reading an article on how the government's surveillance of protests includes gay groups protesting "don't ask-don't tell." Suddenly I looked over and saw an ad for this company Outspoken Clothing. The t-shirt made me laugh so hard I'm sure I scared the old guy in the office next to me a few weeks less to live. I know I'm probably going to hell for it. But, I LOVE this statement.

"May the fetus you save be a black, gay, Wiccan, Democrat."

I wish someone would teach me to say it in Gaelic.

More protection for the oppressed chirstian majority, less for gays

Okay, folks, simple lesson here. It is impossible to oppress the majority in power. It can't be done. I am sick to death of the religious right, their politicians and their lawyers. If Hitler had the lawyers the fundamentalists have, we'd all be living under swastikas.

Minorities and gays have protections because they need them. Screw you if it bothers you christian fundie babies. You don't need protection.

The fact that these jackasses are arguing that cultural sensitivity training and anti-defamation rules oppress them makes me SICK.

Why is this a big story to me?

I don't have cable anymore. I didn't watch South Park much when I did. But, the fact that the show got a Peabody is fascinating to me.

We live in a nation that on its face is so puritanical (grossly so) that we can't see Janet Jackson's bare boob without freaking out and a presidential cabinet member has a statue of Justice covered up because one of hers is hanging out even though most of us fed off of one when we were babies.

We live in a nation where any explicit excretory or sex talk is banned from the radio and TV even though everyone poops and everyone has sex or we wouldn't be here.

So, what does it say that one of the most taste boundary-pushing shows on TV gets a Peabody?

I think it says that there are the enlightened few and then there's Joe six-pack, who can't bear the thought of someone else seeing or hearing sex or other "dirty talk," and sadly, seems to be running the show these days.

Humble Request for Action

I don't like to ask people to sign petitons, but I'm making an exception in this case.

Below is an e-mail from my girlfriend's brother Arash about an Iranian woman and her troubling situation. As a significant other of an Iranian American cursorily familiar with situation of women in Iran, I beseech you to sign the petition.

"Hello everyone,

I rarely, if ever, send forwarded messages to people asking them to do something. Please help me in this battle. I know many of you are on local, state and national list servs and I would love to see the numbers in this petition rise. As of today, April 5th, 2006 I am signature number 5858. Lets try to double that number by the end of the month.

A young Iranian woman acted out of self defence when four men attempted to rape her and her niece. She stabbed several of them with a knife, and after one died later in the hospital, she was sentenced to death by hanging. In Iran, a married woman can receive the death penalty for being raped.

It is difficult to judge the status of women in one country by the standards of another. Iran is a signatory to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) and the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC). As an International, united people we have the responsibility to send a message. Please sign. Please don’t put it off till later.

The petition site

Arash"

All I have to say to the creationists is...

...NEENER, NEENER, NEENER!

Good morning, good news day

Lots to get to, so let's get to it.

First and foremost, there's sex, sex, sex and more sex. Not all warm and fuzzy, either.

Bravo, Massachusetts! It's about time SOMEONE started taking care of people.

I'm sorry, but I totally agree with this UT prof regarding overpopulation. I don't care what pundits and radio show hosts say. Especially the radio show hosts.

Gotta disagree with the judge. I believe dancing IS protected under the constitution and if it isn't, it damn well ought to be.

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the feds used the Patriot Act to convict a baby-food thief. Freaking terrific watching the bill of rights burn, isn't it?

Hurray for wardrobe malfunctions!

And finally...

Shut up!

Oh, really. No s#!t?

Damn, I feel fat today.

Thank you to the Douche Nozzle Report, Huff Po and good ol BBC News.

P.S. It's LGBT awareness week, spectrum awareness week, whatever you want to call it, here at Miami. Please hug your lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans-gendered friends. Better yet, send a letter to your congresspersons supporting LGBT rights.

Won't Ever Happen Again

My sister sent me the e-mail below. I've been obsessed with doing something cool on June 6 this year (6-6-6), which won't ever happen again, either.

"Tomorrow morning at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be
01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again. "

Number 2,364 of Things I Will Never, Ever Understand

How ANY man, no matter what his preferences or problems are, could consent to having his testicles removed (and in a rural NC home, no less) is W-A-Y beyond me.